The recent return of the Bibas children, tragically and horrifically murdered by Hamas, has left me with an overwhelming sense of grief and devastation. As a Jewish woman married to a Hindu husband, I’m also feeling caught between the heartbreaking sorrow of the tragedy and the complexities of my own family’s unique cultural and religious dynamics. In moments like this, it’s hard not to feel isolated—especially with rising antisemitism and the weight of the world’s pain pressing down on my shoulders.  I know my husband wants to be supportive, but I also know that he will never fully understand the depth and complexities of what it means to be Jewish.  Here is my attempt to make sense of my feelings, to offer some insight on how to cope, and to find a way to build emotional resilience when there is so much damn sadness in the world.

Acknowledging the emotional weight of antisemitism

I want to start by stating that an attack on Israel is an attack on all Jews, everywhere. I have had to explain this to my non-Jewish husband on a few occasions. The emotional weight of antisemitism is hard to put into words, but it has the power to seep into the very core of my identity. Global events can trigger a wave of hate and discrimination that spreads across borders, and as a Jewish person, this is felt on a deeply personal level. The weight of antisemitism can make it harder to feel understood, creating tension between the need for solidarity with others who share my background (my Jewish tribe) and the desire to be protected and feel supported by my chosen partner, my husband.

Maintaining open communication

Maintaining open communication with my husband is crucial. I’ve learned that he’s not just going to “get it” without my help. I try to be specific about how I’m feeling. I connect the dots for him between the Jews of Israel and the Jewish communities in America and around the world, emphasizing that when one group is attacked, it feels personal to all of us. I share the heaviness I feel when I see hate being directed toward my people and how it affects me as a mother raising Jewish children in this climate. I also make sure to communicate clearly about how he can support me—whether it’s by simply listening when I need to vent, hugging me a little more often, or even standing with me in solidarity when it feels like the world is against us. While he may never fully understand the layers of my experience, I know that when I speak openly and honestly, he can and does provide me strength and comfort.

Finding support in my community

Connecting with my local Jewish community gives me a sense of belonging and reassurance. Whether it’s attending services or participating in pro-Israel events, these moments remind me that I am not alone in my feelings or experiences. Additionally, I’ve found strength in engaging with my work’s Jewish affinity group where Jewish people from all around the world come together to foster inclusivity and solidarity. These spaces allow me to connect with others who share similar experiences and struggles, offering emotional support and a collective sense of resilience. And true to the Jewish tradition, while these communities come together to mourn, we also find ways to celebrate life and forge a path to peace.

Educating others about antisemitism

This one is tricky, but educating others about antisemitism and promoting understanding is vital to creating a more empathetic world. I try to be compassionate, recognizing that many people may not understand the full scope of the issue or its deep emotional impact. By using my voice to raise awareness, I hope to encourage others to consider perspectives they may not have encountered before. This is how we begin to break down stereotypes, combat misinformation, and help foster a world that is more understanding and empathetic to the struggles of marginalized communities. Every conversation, no matter how small, is a step toward creating a more informed, compassionate society.

History has taught us that Jews are survivors. For thousands of years, we have faced hatred, oppression, and violence, but each time, we have persevered. While today’s flavor of antisemitism is disheartening AF, it is not new to us. We have learned to adapt, to rebuild, and to survive despite the odds I know that our strength lies in our unity, our resilience, and our unwavering commitment to keep moving forward. We may always face hate, but we will always rise above it. We are survivors, and together, we will persist, finding light even in the darkest times. Am Yisrael Chai.

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My hope is that this blog may be helpful, or dare I say inspirational to someone out there. How do you take care of yourself if you feel lonely and isolated in your multicultural family?